From the heart. Through the tears.

soooo. Michael Jackson is dead. Those might be the hardest words I've ever typed. He touched my life for as long as I can remember. Every paper I've ever written about music has had something to do with Michael Jackson. My favorite song....ever...and i mean of EVER is "I can't help it". On that long flight to Mexico the song was on repeat. In between layovers, and during the taxi rides to the airport. I loved Mike. I never listened to what people said, it never mattered. The music transcended the man, and anything he could have done. His music is influential to everyone you listen to, and watch today. Yea, Chris Brown can dance his behind off, but he learned from Mike...who learned from James Brown, but in addition to learning from a great he made it original. Mike will remain in my heart forever. His music is what made me start singing, and dancing. He has influenced my childhood, and my life in such a huge way that I feel as if my uncle has died. He was there, silently, influencing my life, working his way into the very fabric of me in something so innocent, yet profound. With his music. Music touches everyone...no matter nationality, religion, whatever. It is one of those powerful things that brings people together. Michael was rare. He was a proponent of good, clean, enjoyable music that brought people all over the world together. He was and will always be the King of Pop simply because he is iconic in everyway. From his eccentricity to his unmistakable voice. And although a huge part of music left us today, we should not feel sad. His legacy of music will hold us. He is not dead, because he lives on in a new generation touched, and influenced by him. He simply is on a permanent hiatus. And should you ever feel upset...remember his beautiful song, "You are not alone" and believe that he soul and spirit lives on in his performances, his energy, his videos, his dancing, his moonwalk, his glove, his shoes, his smile, his laugh, and most importantly in his music and his fans.

insecure.

news flash...most females at the clubs are beyonddddddd insecure. now this might not be news to you...but i def js got hip to HOW insecure they are...here's the scenario. me an the gurls...renae and india...went to ultrabar thursday after an invitation by a friend. nothin to do...we all bored...schools out...cool...we'll make that move. and these gurls js kept talkin and talkin and talkin bout us...like they not behind us and we cant hear them...then saturday...gurl gave us the dirtiest look ever cuz we had the nerve to walk in front of her. lls. who are you?! a princess? no...random broad in the club...yes, yes you are. anywho...to the point....im used to bein the life of the party for three reasons...

one->like nicki says...i only fucks wit the baddest bitches, no homo.

two->i have a nice body...and i like to show it.

three->i gives no fucks bout wat you think.

this means...if i want to shake my behind an i kno all the dudes is watching...its clearly because i enjoy bein a tease. there is not one person on this earth who is gonna make me feel inferior...therefore females should stop. yea...you got on your freshest outfit and you js too cute to dance wit niggas...you js wanna pose an sip and two step all night. not i. i did not come fresh to the club...do you kno wat happens at the club you simple bitch? people spill their drinks on you...you get sweaty, whether you dance or not...people rub on you and then you smell like their cologne...perfume...drink....sweat...smoke...etc, etc. and obviously the recession hit you too, because you were here at the get in free time as well. but here's the difference, as i imagine it, which is all that matters, im in college...paycheck is in the mail from the on campus job an i start my summer job tues...what's your excuse? doesnt matter...back to wat i was saying...the recession hit you, and you got your flyest outfit on...obviously you dont have the guap for that dry cleaning bill...tsk tsk. stuntin...thennnn...you and your lil crew got the nerve to mug on me and my chicks? well thank you very much for revalidating us. we are the shit obviously by the way you keep talking bout us, and staring. so let me let you in a secret. you do not matter in my life. i do not remember your face....your outfit...yea...it was cute...but the person in it....ummm...yea...drawin a blank. anywho. let me explain why you are insignificant...except for the fact that you annoy me, and i gave you enough thought to write this blog...

~I am doin wat i came to the club to do...dance...not sit around an talk bout other ppl. Last I checked thats what you do...dance...not stand on the dance floor...I stand around an people watch in VIP...you should too...but oh yea i forgot...the recession hit your perfect ass huh?

~Your cutting eyes only translate to my irritation. I have no confidence issues. I think I'm beautiful, I like my outfit, and this is my song...so if you happen to see me shakin and smiling...its because I'm having fun...and maybe you would be too if you didnt concentrate so much on wat me and the gurls are doin.

~Soooooooo, I guess you mad that I got hella attention from dudes that you was checkin for? You tryna book niggas at the club...While you over there callin me a slut for dancing...plz remember the definiton of a slut...for one...and for two...your high and mighty ass over there real lonely. i have no problem dancing with dudes for one cuz i got my nigga at home...an he kno where im at...he dont care...we dont have trust issues..thanks...and two...its js dancin...i will be sleepin in my bed at the end of the night.

and lets not forget...yea...i got the number of the cutie you was lookin at....wit no intent of using it...so while you hatin....maybe you should be takin notes...

Now back to your normally scheduled programming.